Star Wars by William Shakespeare
Friday, April 20, 2012 at 6:34AM
Darth ShakespeareSlactory brings us The War of the Starres, by William Shakespeare:
ACT 4. INTERIOR. DEATH STAR. CELL BLOCK.
An explosion. The Imperial Troops enter the room.
Han: Chewie! Avaunt!
Chewbecca: Gronk.
Luke and Leia rush into the room.
Han: [Aside] Ah, my heart swoons! A princess of such surpassing beauty; beauty as I have never known! But I must not betray my thoughts. The Lady Leia must not know of my secret desire.
They battle the Stormtroopers. During the gun fight, Han blasts the door leading to the exit.
Han: The way is blocked! We cannot exit!
Leia: Foolish wretch! Thou hast cut off our one escape route!
Han: I bite my thumb at thee, lady.
Leia: Dost thou! You are most impudent. Resume your rightful place, foul mercenary. Remember: I hold sway here now; you serve at my command.
Han: Nonetheless, I bite my thumb at thee.
Leia: O vile insult!
Unfortunately it's all prose, no verse, and the parody includes an Act VI (suggesting the parodist is not much of a Shakespeare fan--Shakespeare's plays were always in five acts), but it's still amusing. Follow the link for more.
See also the Official Star Wars Blog which, three years ago, gathered together a collection of Shakespeare-style Star Wars tweets. My favourites: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the Jedi", "Out, out damn Ewok" and, inevitably, "Tis a trap!".