I love Etsy, as regular readers of this blog will know. It's especially good for clever, unusual Star-Wars-themed items of all kinds. But not everything on Etsy is a tribute to its maker. Some items there are, in fact, hilariously horrible. This small insight is apparently enough to support an entire blog, the cleverly-named (and prominently trade-marked) Regretsy.
After that rather long-winded build-up, I bring you (via Regretsy) these truly awful lightsaber earrings. Follow the link to "View it in a room". (I'm not sure what that means either, but give it a go.)
Wicked Lasers, describing itself as "the world's #1 best-selling brand of high-powered lasers and laser pointers", has introduced a laser-powered lightsaber replica called the LaserSaber. Judging by the product description, this is likely to be a limited-time offer:
Are you ready to wield the world's first and only LaserSaber - a radiant blade that pulses with energy. LaserSabers are energized by the light of Wicked Lasers, harnessing the power of the force. The LaserSaber features an ultra smooth magnetic gravity system that can "power up" and "power down" the blade.
The LaserSaber maintains its radiant brilliance even when the lights are on. The LaserSaber is interchangeable and will attach to any Spyder 3 model. The aircraft grade aluminum hilt ensures secure attachment of the blade. Due to the extreme powers of the Spyder 3, only operate while wearing LaserShades in a controlled environment.
Made in the USA
32" strong polycarbonate blade.
Smooth light up and down effect.
Hard anodized T6061 aircraft grade aluminum hilt.
No sound effects
Spyder 3 sold separately
* Do not participate in any form of fencing or swordplay. Fencing or swordplay will cause serious damage to people, pets or property.
* LaserSaber is a registered trademark of Wicked Lasers. Wicked Lasers and its products are not affiliated with Lucasfilm or Star Wars.
Why do I call this a limited-time offer? Firstly, it's dangerous. Any extended object that could be used to hit people with is dangerous, of course, but this one has an actual (frickin') laser beam inside it. The dudes in the video aren't wearing sunglasses because they look cool. You could blind yourself or others with this thing. As another part of the product description explains, "Unlike lightsaber replicas, LaserSabers are powered by highly powerful and dangerous lasers. User and observers should wear safety goggles at all times."
Secondly, it's not licensed by Lucasfilm. I can't imagine they'll tolerate it for long, whatever the legalities of the matter may be.
So if you think you want a LaserSaber, act now. But I wouldn't recommend it. I'll go further: you'd be crazy to bring this thing into your home, and for goodness sake don't let children near it.
Portland police wrestled a man to the ground who had reportedly been swinging two 'Star Wars' light sabers at customers in a Toys R Us store at Jantzen Beach, said Sgt. Pete Simpson.
Officers were dispatched to the store shortly before 10 p.m., Wednesday on reports that the man had already assaulted three customers with the toy swords. None of them was injured.
Before officers arrived, dispatchers were told the man had walked out into the parking lot, still swinging the swords. Police found the man in the lot talking incoherently.
An officer tried to use a Taser, but the device failed. A second Taser also failed after the man used the light sabers to break one of the wires, Simpson said.
The Daily Mail has sauced the story up in its usual way:
They might be one of the more feared tools at the disposal of the police.
However, it would seem the mighty Taser was no match for a humble plastic lightsaber after a man managed to fend off officers as they tried to arrest him inside a toy store.
Sticking with UK accounts, here's the Register's take:
For those of you who've ever wondered, like you do, whether the Jedi lightsabre or the Taser is the more effective weapon, we're delighted to report that the electric dispenser of justice is no match for Obi-Wan Kenobi's mighty glowing tool.
For proof, look no further than the case of David A. Canterbury (pictured), who earlier this week went on the rampage at a Portland Toys R Us store, assaulting three customers with a plastic replica of the Jedi weapon.
Cue swift intervention by law enforcement operatives, who found 33-year-old Canterbury wandering in the parking lot, "talking incoherently", and still swinging his Star Wars stick of merchandise in a manner evidently threatening a severe disruption to the balance of The Force.
JapanTrends.com has a report on Lucasfilm's marketing of the Star Wars Blu Ray set in Tokyo. The vertical railings on subway cars have been decorated as lightsabers. It's quite well done. Follow the source link to see pictures.
If you've decided to infect your defenceless children with Star Wars mania, or if they came home one day infected through no fault of your own, you may want to have a look at ThinkGeek's latest Star Wars novelty item: a Star Wars remote controlled lightsaber night light.
As wee geeks, we were irrational little beings. It's no wonder, since the human brain is not fully developed until age 22. So we believed until just recently that monsters lived under our beds and that when the lights went out, horrible things could happen to us. We practiced hiding under our covers and breathing as shallowly as we possibly could so the monsters would think we weren't there. Did it work? Suppose it did, after all, we're here, aren't we?
How much more secure would we have been in our beds if we had this Lightsaber Room Light mounted on our wall? Press the button on the remote control and the hilt fires up and light fills the room. Certainly this would have terrified any monstrous creature and kept us safe. Why not give your wee geek the peace of mind you didn't have? This kit has everything you need to construct a lightsaber and mount it on your wall. Choose from 8 awesome color effects, plus auto-spectrum using the remote control!
Monday, June 25, 2012 at 1:13AM
