Star Wars as a tender gay parable

The Guardian's Charlie Brooker weighs in, hilariously, on the ongoing "gays in Star Wars" controversy. In particular he explains how Star Wars is in fact a blatantly gay film:

Over the past few weeks, games company Electronic Arts has been subjected to a letter-writing campaign from idiots outraged by its decision to allow players to define their characters as gay in a Star Wars game. The Florida Family Association says, "children and teens, who never thought any way but heterosexual, are now given a choice to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender" – adding that even if they chose to be straight, they would still "be forced to deal with lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender characters chosen by other players". Personal choice and co-operation: two appalling threats to our youth.

They also claim "there were no LGBT characters in any of the Star Wars movies". I don't know which wacky re-cut version of Star Wars they've been watching, but I saw the original when I was about six years old and even then I was struck by how outrageously camp C3PO is. He was a gilded John Inman in space. And what about Luke Skywalker? Apart from briefly kissing his own sister, he shows no interest in women whatsoever. The first film is a tender gay parable in which Luke falls in love with Alec Guinness and gradually "comes out" as a Jedi. The final scene oozes symbolism: having penetrated the Death Star's trench in his phallic spacecraft, he closes his eyes, submits to his true inner instinct and triumphantly blasts his X-Wing's seed into an anus-like aperture, causing an orgasmic eruption that changes his universe for ever. It's hard to see how they could make Star Wars any gayer, unless they gave the Millennium Falcon a handlebar moustache.

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Allowing players to identify their characters as homosexual isn't, as the anti-gay campaigners claim, a tokenistic novelty, but an unavoidable consequence of the fascinating evolution of video games. Not that there's much point explaining that to them. They don't believe in evolution either....

The Guardian: Charlie Brooker: Some people are gay in space. Get over it

US Christian activist attacks SWTOR for being gay

Hi I'm Tony Perkins. You're not gay, are you?Someone named Tony Perkins, who is apparently president of the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C., has attacked Bioware's decision to permit gay and lesbian relationships in their Star Wars: The Old Republic videogame. Says Mr. Perkins:

In a galaxy not so far far away, Star Wars gamers have already gone to the dark side. The new video game, Star Wars: The Old Republic, has added a special feature: gay relationships. Bioware, the company that developed the game, said it's launching a same-sex romance component to satisfy some complaints. That surprised a lot of gamers, since Bioware had made it clear in 2009 that "gay" and "lesbian" don't exist in the Star Wars universe. Since the announcement, homosexuals have been celebrating the news, but parents sure aren't. On the game's website, there are more than 300 pages of comments--a lot of them expressing anger that their kids will be exposed to this Star Warped way of thinking. You can join them by logging on and speaking up. It's time to show companies who the Force is really with!

I've got a hunch that the "Family Research Council" does not actually do research. On anything.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't know why you need sexual relationships in videogames (especially ones involving torture) but if you are going to have them, people should be free.

Family Research Council: Rebel Fleet Surrenders to Gay Empire

Lucasfilm-imposed homophobia?

Star Wars The Old Republic: George Lucas says this is not gayI don't know anything about video games made after 1994. But there's apparently a big Star Wars game coming out called The Old Republic. Predictably, everyone gets to be a Jedi with superpowers beyond anything Luke Skywalker ever pulled off, blah blah blah whatever. But one option not available in the Old Republic, apparently, is homosexuality. From Game Bandits:

Although Star Wars – The Old Republic allows relationships between players and their in-game companions, there is a limit, apparently, as to who you can choose to love. Star Wars – The Old Republic is a strictly heterosexual game. According to producer Cory Butler, same sex choice won’t be an available option to players.

This is consistent with a post made on the official Star Wars – The Old Republic forum by Sean Dahlberg, community manager. In response to a question regarding how the MMO will handle same sex relationships, “As I have stated before, these are terms that do not exist in Star Wars. Thread closed.” It appears that the restriction against gay relationships stems more from the canonical source – the Star Wars saga – than from any preference by BioWare.

Indeed, Bioware’s other title, Mass Effect 3, features same sex love relationships between both males and females. Since Mass Effect was developed by Bioware, they have more leeway with its canon. Not with LucasArts’ Star Wars brand. Their license to use the canon and materials is probably restricted by the content’s existing parameters. Unless it can be proven that Jar Jar Binks preferred other male Gungans, I guess this source material restriction issue pretty much closes the case for intergalactic equal protection rights and sexual preference respect.

What a lot of nonsense. I don't know why you'd want to pretend to have sexual relationships in a video game in the first place, but if that's your thing why should Lucasfilm care whether some 12-year-old--or 40-year-old--decides that his Darth Threepio character may like a little Artoo on the side? The "canon" should have nothing to do with it. (Note how "canon"--originally a religious concept--is here invoked to justify, or at least explain, homophobia--another longstanding religious concept.)

Homophobia is stupid and wrong. If Lucasfilm wants to impose a no-sex rule in its video games, I have no problem with that. But if sex, or romantic relationships of any kind, are to form part of the game, they should not replicate in their imaginary worlds the outdated prejudices still sadly found in ignorant pockets of our real world. Come on Lucasfilm, don't add homophobia to the long list of things wrong with prequel-era Star Wars!

Game Bandits: Star Wars – The Old Republic: Same sex relationships not allowed